Did you hear about the hottest new band? Uh huh....they're called Rock Candy and they're all the rage! Their latest gig was at the Starry Plough in Berkeley. Oh, you haven't heard? Well you can read today's SF Chronicle Datebook section....or go online to SFGate and read the article (be sure to click through the "view more images" link for a super-secret suprise image!).

Time to praise Craig's List again. In this economy, I can't imagine how or why anyone buys anything new. Of course, there's the whole argument about needing to stimulate the economy in order for businesses to make it through these times....so if you're of that mind and able to do so, go for it. But the environmentalist in me (and we all have some of it in us somewhere) says, reduce, reuse, recycle - and of course Craig's List satisfies that particular need in me.

Ryan loves model trains, and has wanted to put together a track plan. We have absolutely no space....but figured out how to put together a 4 x 8 space in his room if we cleaned, cleaned, cleaned and then moved everything around. So we thought about how to create even more space, and a loft bed seemed like a good option. If you look around at loft beds, they can be really flimsy....and expensive for what you get! But then I went to CL, and found this:

This was custom-made for a boy by his dad. The boy is now off to college.....and we get the benefit of being the second owner. This guy knew what he was doing....the craftsmanship is beautiful. By the way, he's moved on from woodworking....currently he's building an airplane in his garage....not a model airplane.....an actual airplane. We got to see the wings portion...very cool. Anyway, we paid way way way way way less than other beds that are out there - and they gave Ryan a deal because he was paying for it with his own money. It has 6 drawers - which then meant we could get rid of the huge dresser in his room as well....hooray! And the other side has a bookshelf - which meant we could get rid of a book shelf in his room....and mom and dad gained a bookshelf in their room....double hooray! So then, a small desk was needed. And where did I turn? CL natch. And in the small world category, the desk I found (which is identical to the one we already own in our office but in a different color) was being sold by a woman in my book club who then lowered the price by $10 when she found out it was me. So a desk that we paid around $200ish for a few years ago, I picked up for $70. Oh, and that drum stool under the desk? That was a bonus stool from the drum set Ryan bought off CL last year.....for some reason the kid had two drum stools (which we didn't originally know) so it's the purchase that keeps on giving.

Today, a collection of writing from Sierra:

E-mail one sent from car ride home from Tahoe yesterday (I stayed home while everyone else went skiing for the day). I am not correcting spelling or grammar - but will insert a word or explanation in parenthesis and italicized if clarification may be needed:

This is a really cute picture of me when I was drinking hot chocolate with extra whipped cream! We had two stops for hot chocolate. Both times it was very very good. The 2nd time there was no whipped cream. But we had to add "all perpose cream". The contaner of crem was stuck in a huge tub with a bunch of ice and water foer some reason. I thoght that it was quit weird and interesting. My favorite run was the easy one but they had split it in half and one side was a train [terrain] park. I liked the train park the best. Right now, we are stuck in traffic for some reason. Dad thinks that there must have been an acsadent ahead. I think that he just changed what he thought was ahead but I couldn't quit hear what he said. Got to go because Ryan is complaning that it is to long and that I should send it abot now.

Love,

Sierra

E-mail two, half an hour later:

Here is another picture for you.

Love,

Sierra

And finally, e-mail three, another half an hour later:

Here is another one. You should read this ones caption before you read the other caption of the picture in the email above this one because other ways it doesn't make any sence at all. I have chose that I don't really like to go skiing with dad, dad and ryan, or in ski school or blue angels. I don't like blue angels because of the movies and the middel school and also the dinner at in and out [this is the program last year where they rode up on the bus with 7-16 year olds - hence the movies on the bus reference, the middle school kids reference...and finally the reference to In and Out Burger where they made a dinner stop on the way home after a full day of skiing]. The food there is really really bad. It is gross. I hate it. I am really board and hungry right now and I am defenentaly not in the mood for sushi right now. I do not have any shoes on right now or socks and I am really really hot. Ryan does not like me typing long emails for some weird reason. He keeps complaining about it. It is just a long email for goodness sake! I am learning how to text emails on dads phone just like I am right now. It is really fun once you get your fingers used to putting them in the right places. There Ryan goes again complaining about the long email again! My butt herts from sitting so long in the car. I can not wait to see you when we get to the resterant. I hope that I spelled resterant right. We are going to call you in about five minets dad says but I do not know why. We have a full moon tonight. It is very very pretty. You will want to see it when we get home because it is so beatiful. The snow in Tahoe looked like the softest cloud blanket made of snow and the houses looked like huge ginger bread houses.

And now a little touch from today....she went online to make a drawing and e-mailed it to me. I've captured it with her words.....

I'm not sure who the subject is....however I do know that there is no loss of self-esteem in Sierra right now. And her stream-of-consciousness writing.....well, does it remind you of anyone?

I've fudged the dates a bit on the new Inauguration blog....so you'll see lots of photos and links on a January 16 post that I actually created today.....so make sure to scroll down.....and from now on new posts will appear chronologically with the newest being first.

Erik T. Johnson for the New York Times

I've started an Inauguration Scrapbook blog. I don't know why I do this to myself...but I figure if I can start to put it all in one place online, then when I finally do a real scrapbook, I'll have somewhere to start......it's the first item under Links to the right. Enjoy!

FREE STUFF!!

Ah, the power of the free. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love Craig's List. I love the buying, I love the selling, I love the friendships I've made (oh yeah....really) and I love the best book ever about the sheer power of it - One Red Paperclip - who the heck can beat trading a red paperclip for a house? And now apparently he's looking to trade the house! I don't peruse CL for free stuff normally, however, because it's too time-consuming, and frankly, anything good goes within about a second. Even the for sale stuff goes with lightening speed. I've been looking to purchase a small desk for Ryan's room for a couple of months, and the 3 or 4 I've replied to were within hours of posting and I missed out on all of them. When we bought Ryan's drum set I had vowed to sit in front of the computer one Sunday morning and just keep hitting refresh on my "drum kit" search and guess what? The seller was shocked that I responded within 20 minutes of their post....and it takes CL at least 10 minutes to get it up there after you list it! But if you really really really want something, that's what you need to do.

However, when you're not in the market for something in particular, that's when free and happened-upon is the best ever. I have two very recent examples. First, Sierra and I were hiking back down from the ridge above our house along the streets, and lo and behold someone had set out bunches of free stuff. The usual suspects....old lamps, chairs, furniture, children's stuff.....and this true treasure - Mancala.

Look at the beautiful glass pieces. Sierra was beside herself with joy....she has wanted a Mancala game for a couple of years but it's one of those things that we just forget about at gift-giving times because it's not the big, showy thing. We brought it home, cleaned it up (although not much cleaning seemed to be required) and now she literally plays it at least three times a week....often by herself. In fact, we had a few guests over recently and one little girl's mom set out to find her - and happened on her all alone in Sierra's room happily playing by herself. There's something mystical about it somehow because I often find Sierra doing the same thing.

And the next free treasure? It's what the Mancala is sitting on. Stressed about cleaning my house up for same said guest get-together, I was really thinking about how to have our games in a really accessible place that didn't look too cluttery. A bookshelf would be good, but not a likely candidate for long-term because one day I vow to truly have a "put-together" living room, and this would not be included in that plan. As I was off to do some last minute errands that day, I drove to the end of the street and - AHA! - saw some furniture left out with the always-exciting FREE STUFF sign. I was on my way out so I called home and asked Scott to go to the end of the street and check it out. When I returned, both he AND both kids reported that none of it was any good. I said, "hmph, y'all don't know what you're talking about" and stomped to the bottom of the street (which can only happen if you live on hilly streets). Ryan decided to come with....probably to watch what it looks like when a crazy lady inspects free stuff....and the minute I saw this bookshelf I knew it was perfect. Again Ryan tried to talk me out of it...."it's paint is peeling"...."Sierra didn't like the color" (and by the way - where did I get this daughter who shuns most colorful stuff in favor of restrained, earthy tones - it's almost worse than discovering I'm raising a republican)...."blah, blah, blah." "Yeah, yeah - help me carry it home." So up the hill we went carrying this thing and then I got to show Ryan the magic of a power sander. "Look!" "Watch this!" "Magic!" And there it was.....a bright, beautiful, appropriately-brightly-hued-to-highlight-a-fun-game-collection shelf. Bring it inside, place it with care, line the top with Ipus homemade by me and Sierra, and now we're happy.

Is it stately? Well-appointed? Heck no. Does it represent me and my personality? Heck yeah. And it doesn't overwhelm the room too much, as evidenced by the above photo. And you know I had these pillows WAAAY before I got the bookshelf.....the whole beige-on-carribean-blue thing works kind of well, yes? I think Ryan's now a convert (power tools go a long way in making something cool to him). Sierra? Well, who cares - she can be in charge of her own room.

If you hadn't heard yet (which probably isn't possible since I've literally told every passing person I've seen), Ryan is one of 43 boys with the San Francisco Boys Chorus chosen to sing at Barack Obama's Inauguration ceremonies. Along with 43 girls from the San Francisco Girls Chorus (for whom Sierra sings - but not quite at that level yet), they will be the only children who are part of the official ceremonies - besides Obama's children, of course. Below are the 43 boys (Ryan is front row, 5th from the left with his hair pulled back) and SFBC Artistic Director Ian Robertson.

When we first heard about it, we were, of course, very excited. Something about "prime placement on the steps" is what was said. I was proud....but truly - the impact of the honor didn't really hit me until I saw the official schedule:

Festivities will commence at 10 a.m. on the west front of the U.S. Capitol and will include:

• Musical Selections: The United States Marine Band, followed by the San Francisco Boys Chorus and the San Francisco Girls Chorus

• Call to Order and Welcoming Remarks: Senator Dianne Feinstein

• Invocation: Dr. Rick Warren

• Musical Selection: Aretha Franklin

• Vice President-elect Joseph R. Biden, Jr. will be sworn into office by Associate Justice of the Supreme Court, the Honorable John Paul Stevens

• Musical Selection: John Williams, composer/arranger with Itzhak Perlman, (violin), Yo-Yo Ma (cello), Gabriela Montero (piano) and Anthony McGill (clarinet)

• President-elect Barack H. Obama will take the Oath of Office, using President Lincoln’s Inaugural Bible, administered by the Chief Justice of the United States, the Honorable John G. Roberts, Jr.

• Inaugural Address

• Poem: Elizabeth Alexander

• Benediction: The Reverend Dr. Joseph E. Lowery

• The National Anthem: The United States Navy Band “Sea Chanters”

Some more background info is available on the New York Times blog.

The program participants were invited by the Joint Congressional Committee on Inaugural Ceremonies and chosen by the Chairman, the President-elect, and the Vice President-elect.

Obviously this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and honor. It is also so much richer because Ryan was the most fervant Obama supporter in a household full of Obama supporters. He's the kid who yelled at the tv during the Republican convention when McCain spoke ill of Obama's remarks...."THAT'S NOT WHAT HE SAID!" The kid who whole-heartedly believes in Obama and his plans and hope for our future. And the kid who, when asked how he would feel if McCain had won and he was given the opportunity to sing for his inauguration, said "I would feel honored to sing for the President of the United States...no matter who it was." Such a pro.

Ryan will turn 10 twelve days before he sings in Washington, DC. I can't think of a better way for him to usher in his 10th year.

This is my idea of paradise. This little beauty will go up for auction at this year's Barrett Jackson car auction in Scottsdale in January. For those of you who thought they only sold hot rods, think again. Imagine where you could go with this. If Slow Food is all the rage, Slow Driving shouldn't be far behind. I heart VW buses.

People should have the right to marry and be happy. Period. End of subject. Vote on Tuesday.

If you find yourself available at 3pm on Sunday afternoon, head on over to Grace Cathedral (1100 California St.) for Voices of America’s Future, a concert bringing together local youth choirs including the San Francisco Boys Chorus, and of course, Ryan. The concert is free - can't beat that deal! And the California cable car stops right in front.....come on now...you can't pass it up!

It's that time of year again....time to get your altars ready for Dias de Los Muertos. See my October 8, 2006 post for resources....they're all still good. Last year we had a great time at the Oakland Museum with Ry and Si and her friend Maya....what's better than crafts, music and food? So mark your calendars for this coming Saturday.....and best of all, it's free!

Thought I'd share a little article I wrote for our PTA newsletter this month. Reprinted with permission from the author.....me!

Does the following scenario sound familiar in your household?

Your son forgot his homework…he did it – but he forgot to put it in his backpack. After he leaves, you see it and run it down to the school to make sure he has it.

What’s wrong with this scenario? What are the outcomes? What are the alternatives?

Letting our children manage their own lives has got to be one of the most difficult parenting challenges. We just want to do what’s best for our children – love them, support them, step in when they need help. Our challenge is being able to actually use stepping back as a strategy towards moving forward.

When we step in to “save” our children, we actually reinforce behaviors that we really don’t want to reinforce. This happened in my home just this morning. I left the house before anyone else…..but I knew there was a piece of errant homework sitting on the coffee table that my daughter needed to bring in. I could have so easily called home and asked my husband to tell my daughter to put it in her backpack. However, I needed to determine how I could support my daughter, without stepping in and taking over.

I decided to call my husband to get him on board with my strategy…..I asked him to simply check with the children before they left by saying “is there any homework, anything due, or anything else that needs to go in your backpack before you leave?” If my daughter takes that cue, and looks around, she should find it. If she doesn’t, then she will go to school without it.

What happens if she doesn’t have her homework? Well, homework will be called for, and she won’t have it. Ouch. Her teacher may ask her about it and she’ll have to make the choice of how to respond. She’ll most likely be marked “0” on that homework for the day. Ouch again. Or what if it was her lunch that she forgot to bring? Lunchtime comes….and yikes, she’s hungry. Not fun. Not life-or-death either.

These are the natural consequences and reinforcers for shaping a different behavior – in this case, the “forgetting” behavior. And frankly, it may need to happen a few times in order for it to truly reshape her behavior. Unfortunately, if we make the choice to step in and bring the homework, or the project, or the lunch to school, we continue to reinforce that it’s okay to forget because someone will step in to save you. This doesn’t fare well for successful life strategies. Someone will not step in to save you in college and in your career.

What would be more helpful is to help structure the strategy for not forgetting in the first place. Take a look with your child at their processes. If they are consistently forgetting things, then their systems aren’t working – and you can help them by working out some new systems with them that they can implement. What is happening to get organized for the school day? Is their backpack packed up before they go to bed? Do they use a checklist of items to check on before they leave for school? Do they look around the house just before leaving as a backup? Do they need a designated homework spot so that they always know where to look? Do they need to wake up 10-15 minutes earlier to give themselves time to do these things?

And what’s the academic implication of that homework that doesn’t get turned in? Well, that depends. In many cases, homework reinforces, enhances or delves a little more deeply into a subject taught during the week. Because she actually did the homework, then she hopefully captured that deeper understanding. She should easily be able to participate in further discussion of the subject. If she is tested on it, she should be fine. She simply has to deal with a score of “0” on her homework (possibly more than once). It is not the end of the world.

We all do our best to be great, supportive parents. We feel like we’ve failed if we don’t support them in the every possible way. Sometimes, we just need to take a fresh look at their needs and decide what is truly most helpful – saving them for now, or teaching them for now and forever.

Next month: The Importance of Family Dinners.

Planted pot of lettuces, chives, basil and flowers on our deck - easily accessible from the kitchen

I've decided that unless I can eat it, I'm not planting it. So if you've seen my lawns lately, well, actually, what lawns? The front lawn was a goner awhile back when I decided to stop trying to water the dead grass. And the back lawn has been claimed by the water shortage. And they're not going to be replaced with grass. It's just too maintenance heavy and not environmentally sound. But what to do? That's the eternal question. I like this Synthetic Grass website, but it's a pretty pricey option and I'm not that big a fan of the lawn look anyway - it's fairly uninteresting. There's also the Edible Front Lawn option, which I personally love, but the fact that our front lawn is on the North side of the house, and mostly completely shaded, doesn't fare well for that option. And the back lawn is subject to Comet's wanderings, so not a good choice either - and we already have an entire terraced garden where he cannot trespass.

Our house style is considered Monterey Colonial - already a mash-up of styles - and so more of a Spanish theme seems to be appropriate. So that would be a fountain, crushed rock, curved paths and either terra cotta colors or perhaps some brighter hues. But I'm also not that big a fan of that look. A pond of some sort would be nice, with natural rock all around....but sounds expensive. So for now, I believe that the fallen leaves from the four trees shall be my front lawn....and by end of winter they'll be perfect to scoop up and put in the composter that Scott got going again in the garden. If anyone knows of edibles that thrive in shade, let me know!

You may have read about this play in the SF Chronicle - if not, you should, and either way, you need to go. Anyone who is a parent in the east bay and struggles on a daily basis with their choices for schooling needs to see this. Not because it will answer any questions for you - quite the opposite. Because it will gut-wrenchingly highlight and magnify every hope and conversely every concern you have about the choices you make everyday, how those choices are effecting your children as humans growing up in this world, and ultimately will leave you realizing that no matter what you do, your child is going to have to question everything he/she knows, believes in, and was raised around.

Ryan, Sierra and I have a joke - we know that whenever we go to Berkeley around 3:30 or 4pm, we will run into "those crazy teenagers". Now this doesn't apply just to Berkeley High students - it applies to all high schoolers including those traipsing around Montclair Village around the same time. But the joke started with Berkeley High students because that's where we tend to spend the most time. Capoeira is in Berkeley, the best library ever is in Berkeley, my sewing machine/vacuum repair place is in Berkeley, we bought Ryan's bike in Berkeley, their City Camp program for two summers starts every day in Berkeley, sewing camp is in Berkeley, the farmer's market is in Berkeley, Spun Sugar-the only place I know of to get sheet gelatin-is in Berkeley, the annual Halloween store is in Berkeley - okay, you get the picture? And frankly, all but one of these listed places is within 3 blocks of Berkeley High. So we see these kids A LOT. They're not any crazier than any other teenager, but there are MASSES of them milling around. And they are a varied lot. Which is exactly the point of this play. And all your preconceived open-mindedness does not prepare you for the coming together of this varied lot. Think not only racial inequalities, but shades, sub-shades, and sub-sub-shades of how this plays out in an atmosphere and environment that prides itself on being so open-minded. I truly found the writing brilliant, poignant, and unbelievably entertaining. They've just extended their run through October 19 at Berkeley Rep. Please, please go see this play. Parental guidance: I would not find it appropriate for children below 7th grade.

The sewing family thing continues to work out really well. Ryan made this cycling cap for Scott from an online Cycling Cap Pattern that we found. He picked out the fabric himself, cut it, sewed it, and gave to daddy for his birthday. It's worn under the bike helmet....or you can flip up the visor to look cool:

Also, again frustration for me with my sewing machine....it wouldn't switch stitches. I tried this, I tried that, I finally threw up my hands and said...Ryan, can you please try? It probably took him 3 minutes to get it to work. I love my little sewing technician.